


Out In The Country, Far Away From All the Noise of the City

by somethingsalwayswrong



Category: Hot Fuzz (2007)
Genre: Bisexual Character, Gen, LGBT characters, Nicholas and Danny are not a couple, Pansexual Character, Polyamory, maybe I'll write a follow up, maybe not, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-25 06:18:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2611511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingsalwayswrong/pseuds/somethingsalwayswrong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nicholas decides that the Sandford Police Department is his family and he wants to come out to them. Still, he <i>is</i> just a tiny bit nervous about it...</p><p>Or how all my headcanons morphed themself into a story and wouldn't leave me alone for several days so I wrote it. </p><p>I dislike this title, so if you think of a better one please let me know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out In The Country, Far Away From All the Noise of the City

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously if you can think of a better title please tell me. I'm stumped.

Nicholas Angel had never been particularly closeted growing up. As everything else in his life, (until recently that is) it was logical and well thought out. He simply came to the conclusion that he was bisexual and then politely informed his mother. 

But that was London, a big city full of more diversity than you could shake a stick at. Sandford was...well, a small country village. He hadn't been sure that anyone would accept him so he had conveniently left that aspect of his personal life far away from the chattering mouths of the local gossip mill.

But then the Battle of Sandford had happened and everything went tits up and now those who were left in the village had proven themselves to be loyal decent folk. So, Nicholas decided it couldn't hurt to come out. At least to the police squad. They were his friends. Surely they'd accept him as he was. Still, there was a knot of apprehension thinking about it...

 

The opportunity came up when they were all at the pub, enjoying a few pints after a long day of setting up the new station. 

"So Nicholas, " Doris teased. "Now that you're settled proper like, you should let me set you up with my friend Alice, next town over." Then she added in a stage whisper, "She's a contortionist! " Nicholas flushed.

"Well actually Doris," he began. His heart was _not_ racing with adrenaline. That would be absurd. "I'm not...well, I'm not looking to date women right now. I'm...ah, well that is..." he rubbed at the back of his neck. "Well. I'm a bit more interested in finding a man right now." He sipped at his beer, attempting to be nonchalant.

The air had been sucked out of the entire pub as everyone at the big circular table stared at him like gaping fish. Nicholas swallowed thickly. Well fuck. He loomed over at Danny, sitting right next to him as usual and found that even Danny looked utterly gobsmacked. 

"There's nothing wrong with being bisexual," Nicholas defended. "My feelings are just as valid as any of yours!" He had thought these people were his friends. Well, he was pretty sure the Andes counted more as playground bullies than friends. But still. Nobody had said anything still and Nicholas' heart sank. "Well. If that's how you feel..." and he stood to leave.  
Suddenly the whole table burst into hysterical laughter. Walker was wiping tears from his eyes with a weathered hand. Danny reached a hand out and dragged Nicholas down to his seat again, wheezing with laughter. "Alright, mates. Pay up. I told you it'd be this week!" Everyone, still laughing, started pulling out wallets and paying Danny. Nicholas sat dumbfounded.

"So...you knew? "

"Course we knew, what with you making sheep's eyes at Danny for months now," said Fisher with a grin. Nicholas felt the tips of his ears burn. He didn't think anyone had noticed...

"Why didn't you just tell us outright, you silly git?" Asked Danny. 

"Well Sandford is a small conservative village! I thought you wouldn't approve!"  
At this, the table burst into laughter again. Through deep belly laughs, Danny crooked out.

"Small? Sure. Conservative? Not so much. I came out when I was 13. Dad nearly walloped me but Mum just told me to find a boy with good manners."

"Wait, you're gay?"

Danny grinned. "You think I watch all them action movies just for the epic shoot outs?"  
Nicholas thought about it. Danny _was_ rather obsessed with Bruce Willis...

"Well okay but one homosexual doesn't a progressive village make."

Again, uproarious laughter. "One," wheezed out Cartwright, learning on Wainwright for support. 

"One!"

"Okay look, if you could all stop laughing like braying donkeys for a moment, I am deeply confused and I'd like an explanation! "  
Slowly, the table collected itself and the laughter died down to smirking and small chuckles.

"Sorry Nicky, just...we thought you knew." Said Danny, placing a large hand on his shoulder.

"See, the Andes? Been together over 14 years now. " At this, they each held up their left hands to present rings that Nicholas had never noticed before were _matching_. God, he was thick.  
"But...you two make vaguely homophobic jokes abd Danny and I nearly daily," he said dumbly.

Wainwright sneered. "We were just kidding. Welcome to the club, like," before taking Cartwright's hand. Cartwright piped in.

"Yeah we didn't know you'd be thicker'n Andy's mum about it."

"Oh."

"And Doris," Danny continued. "She's pansexual."  
She gave him a quick wave with her fingers and a big salacious grin.  
"Mr. and Mrs. Raker, behind the bar?" Danny pointed to the elderly couple who had taken over the local pub in the days since the Battle of Sandford. "They've been in a polyamorous triad with Ms. Harper at the library for years now."

"My kid Tawny is genderfluid," piped in Fisher. "Zie prefers zie/zim pronouns, by the way." Nicholas slowly nodded. 

"Sergeant Turner has a boyfriend over in Buford Abbey," added Doris helpfully. 

"Which Sergeant Turner?"

"Both of them."

"Backnasummerahlovemovedtsanfrancisco. Smokedpeyotenhookedupwitwhoeveriwanted. Goodyeaninteensixteniyn," walker grumbled out with a fond grin. Saxon barked in response.  
Nicholas blinked. Then blinked again. 

"So Sandford..."

"Is basically the most LGBT friendly village in England? Yeah." Danny finished for him. "When dad started trying to get the village to be Best Village every year, he shushed it up real good. But we never really stopped any of it. It's Sandford's worst kept secret, save from Mr. Staker's illegal brewery in his basement. " Danny grinned around a gulp of his beer and put his arm over the back of Nicholas' chair. 

"Some supercop, eh?" Cartwright said, nudging Wainwright.

"Ow! Cut it out, love. "

Nicholas drank his beer. Once again, Sandford managed to completely throw him for a loop.

"Well...uh, cheers to acceptance?" Nicholas lifted his beer. The rest were more than happy to toast to that.


End file.
